The F-ing Resume
1-Minute Read.
While in the United Lounge at SFO last week, I overheard a rather interesting (and bombastic) dude utter over a call, “well, Joe, send over your resumé and my secretary will take a look at it.”
“We Want To Build Brand, Mark.”
📚 90-Second Read
In nearly every introductory meeting with a new client, I hear executives utter similar remarks. And they have no clue what they’re really saying…
TikTok Ban
📚: 3 minute Read.
Ok, where do I start…
Let me share an excerpt from an email I received on Friday from a client of ours (their Director of Marketing, to be exact).
“Mark!!! WTF!!!!
Yes, you should still be advertising.
📖 4 – Minute Read.
In the last 3 weeks, prices in Facebook’s ad auctions have plunged – they’re quite the bargain right now. Prices have fallen nearly 35% per CPM (cost per thousand) and have presented some discounted opportunities, exposed culture & value, and furnished attention gains through this “Categorical Noise Decrease” – the likes of which we have never seen.
Kobe Bryant’s Passing Isn’t About You.
40-second read.
I can see it now: Agencies & Brand Managers scrambling to make a relevant post about Kobe in the last 24 hours…
Value or Cost?
📕: 45 Second Read.
For the past 2 years, before I consider working with a new organization, I start with 1 key question I pose during our first in-person meeting: Are we increasing value or lowering costs? (This question comes in different presentable forms).
Replace Me Now, AI.
60 Second Read 📕
On a recent trip to Portland, I called the front desk early in the morning and asked the question I so often do: “Where’s the gym located?”
Mr. Jackass & The Sofa
📚 1 Minute Read
I’m at an office in Jacksonville, FL. lounging on a beige sofa fiddling with my phone. The sofa is ripped with a 10+ pieces of gaffer’s tape meekly holding it at the seam.
Who’s the asshole that put the tape on this?!
Uh, Mark – that’s the wrong UBER.
2 Minute Read.
Shit, that’s the wrong UBER.
Two weeks ago in Seattle, I got in the wrong Uber. Yeah, yeah – I’m a lost cause.
Are You Marketing?
3 Minute Read.
✔️If you’re trying to recruit people for your shitty sales job, you’re marketing.
✔️If you’re looking for votes at the city council meeting…